The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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