You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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