I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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