And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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