when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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