hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
