we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
