Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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