How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
