im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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