She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
