Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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