No awkward lesbian experiences without me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize