I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
