you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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