i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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