Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
