She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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