i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
