so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize