I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
