who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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