week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
