I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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