smell my finger.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
