from now on my penis is your penis
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
