Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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