hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
