she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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