i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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