You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
