well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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