I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
