happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
