i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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