How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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