Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We are two peas in an std pod
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
