you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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