and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
