Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
