Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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