just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
