you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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