I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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