Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
