It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
