I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
