My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
