I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
