Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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