We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
