fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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