The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
