Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
