Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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