no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
