Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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