In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
