chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
